


Needed Comfort

by helsinkibaby



Series: In a Different Light [6]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon Level Violence Mentioned, F/M, Het, Romance, The Big Game, season two spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-12
Updated: 2018-02-12
Packaged: 2019-03-17 11:45:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13658334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/helsinkibaby/pseuds/helsinkibaby
Summary: As they search for Reid, and after, Hotch worries about JJ.





	Needed Comfort

Hotch is walking through the Henkels' cabin, reading the rooms as he goes when he hears Morgan calling his name. "Have you found something?" he asks because there's enough urgency in the other man's voice to indicate that he has. He's surprised then when Morgan shakes his head.

"Man, you need to talk to your girl."

Hotch blinks, for a number of reasons, Morgan referring to JJ as "his girl" being only the first of them. They've always been circumspect about their relationship although they've known for a long time that working with a crowd of profilers, they're the very definition of an open secret - though dancing with her at the Super Bowl party had made it more open than ever. They don't usually advertise it though, that being the first time and this is the first time that Morgan has ever mentioned it to him. Certainly doing it here, in the middle of a case, moreover in the middle of a case where one of their own is missing, is not something that Hotch would have expected.

Which, he realises instantly, tells him all he needs to know. 

He nods, asks only, "Where is she?"

Morgan juts his chin in the direction of the kitchen. "She took my head off in the kitchen five minutes ago," he says. "She's not doing so well."

Again, Hotch nods, thanks Morgan and heads to find JJ. 

When he does, he's relieved to find her alone, leafing through papers in the study. He comes up behind her quietly, but he knows from the tilt of her head in his direction that she knows he's there. He steps up to the table, stands beside her and pretends to look at some of the papers scattered around. Instead his eyes fall on the bandages on her arms and he's hard pressed to keep back a wince. "Can I do-" he begins but he stops when she shakes her head.

"Don't." The word is more hiss than speech and it rocks him back on his heels a little. Not once has JJ ever spoken like that to him. 

He turns to her, looks down at her and he suddenly doesn't give a damn where they are or who's around. "Jen..." he says but once again, she cuts him off.

"Don't, ok? Just don't. Please." She takes a shaky breath in, closes her eyes and he can almost hear her counting to ten. When she speaks, she does so with her eyes closed and he doesn't have to be a profiler to know the effort it's costing her to keep herself together. "You can't be Aaron right now, ok? I need you to be Hotch. My boss. I need that, ok?" He swallows hard when she opens her eyes and he can see a thin veil of tears lining her bottom lashes. "Because if you're Aaron, and you try to comfort me, I'm going to throw myself into your arms and I'm going to start crying and I don't know when I'll stop."

Hotch takes a deep breath, exhales slowly. He can understand that, appreciate it even. It doesn't mean that he's not going to keep an extra eye on her though. "Have you found anything?" he asks and she gives him a tiny smile before she walks him through the paperwork. 

*

He does as she wishes, keeps the role of Hotch until they find Reid, and even after that. They work the scene, they get Reid to the hospital and make sure he is all right. JJ hovers over him, her guilt obvious and it's only when Reid is asleep that she'll even countenance leaving the hospital. 

That's when he puts an arm around her shoulders, leads her to an SUV and drives her back to a hotel. Well, hotel would be putting it nicely, he thinks; even a motel would be a step up for this place. But it has a room for just the two of them, away from prying eyes and when he closes the door behind her, locks and bolts it, she is in his arms almost before he has the time to turn around. 

He holds her close, feels her shaking in his arms and fights the lump that rises in his throat. Those few awful moments before they'd found her, where losing her had seemed like a distinct possibility have been pushed aside until now, but no longer. One of his hands goes up to cup the back of her head, the other splays across her back and he hears himself whisper, "It's ok, Jen... you're safe now..."

A sob wrenches itself from her throat and she moves her head back just enough so that she can look into his eyes, so he can see the tears that are rolling down her cheeks. "Aaron, I was so scared..."

"I know," he says, pulling her back into his arms. "I know... but you're ok now... you're here." 

"I'm sorry for what I said..." she begins but he doesn't let her finish that. 

"It's ok..." he tells her and he means it. "Whatever you need, Jen... I'm here." 

She nods, another sob escaping her lips and he leads her to the bed and lies down beside her, holds her in his arms until she drops off to sleep. He likes to think that it makes her feel better, but he knows he needs it just as much.


End file.
